My thoughts..

I chose to come to Perth to do my masters. I'm not sure if that's the correct choice. But I guess I've started it so I have to finish it so that I don't disappoint my family.

1st, it was disappointing that my course coordinator wasn't helpful. Then, I get to know that I need to study some units that I've done in my undergrad. What's worst is that I thought there will be a whole class of postgraduate students. But that's not the case. I'm currently having class with the 2nd and 3rd year undergrad students. So, I'm the weird 1 there.

2nd, I feel sad and I miss my life back in KL. I had a colourful life. Or should I say, I HAD A LIFE in KL. I worked, I go out with friends, I go for drinks with colleagues, I have family there. And most of all, I have the person I love in my life everyday. I chose to give up everything and start a new in Perth, hoping that I can get a master degree. Then, hopefully I can get a job in Australia and get my PR for a better future.

Now I'm wondering is all these really worth it? Having a better future alone in a stranger land? I used to think that my undergrad degree wasn't good enuf and I always wanted to see what overseas university are teaching. True enough, their standards are way higher. I always wanted to study at overseas uni. Now that I'm doing it, I'm not sure anymore if that's what I want. I've made plans in my life, but I don't know if my plans are worth all the sacrifices.

Yesterday, I had a tiring day. As I was driving home alone, I suddenly thought of the time when I was working in KL. Normally after a tiring and stressful working day, I will be taking the lrt to Kelana Jaya station where Aaron will pick me up. As tiring and stressed out my mind was, once I got into the car, he would smile to me and say 'Hello darling!'. All those will just sweep away my tiredness and I feel totally relief and forgotten about all the stress. Its like at the end of the day, I get to see that smile and hear that voice, everything else doesn't matter anymore. Now that we're far away from each other, I can't have that anymore. I really miss those times.

I'm really thinking, is all these really worth it? I thought of quitting and going back because it seems like everything else doesn't matter as long as you have your loved ones beside you always. But then again, I'm confused. Should I? Can I?

ALL I CAN SAY IS I MISS EVERYTHING I HAD BACK THERE. MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY LOVE AND MY FRIENDS.

PS: I miss you, hubby. I love you always. Wish you're beside me right now hugging me. It's chilli here. I really need your warmth badly.