A four and a half years relationship make me learnt a lot. It will always keep me wonder, is every guy the same? Will they change after a year? 2 years? or 4 years? How long will they be nice to you? Of course they would be nice at the very beginning because they are trying to get you. And then what happen? They start showing their true colour? Or they just stop having interest in you? So how am I going to have faith in relationship anymore? I'm always being taken advantage of in the relationship. Giving in so much and at the end of the day, you get "my feelings faded".
How am I suppose to deal with this if the next guy that comes along say the same thing to me after another 4 years? So I just keep getting hurt every 4 years? And waste all my feelings, effort and money in it? It's so stupid!
Guy can really be douche! I really don't know how am I suppose to have faith in long term relationship anymore. Is it worth the hurt? It really hurt so bad when you love the other person more than anything else. It's really stupid that my feelings only get stronger everyday whenever I love a guy. It feels like an inverse relationship with the guy. He might start losing interest and I'll only start loving him more and more everyday. At the end of the day, I'm always at the losing end. Sometimes I just feel like killing myself for being nice to boyfriend.
Maybe, maybe I should train myself to be more mean, more cold hearted and take in more instead of giving out. I might not get hurt so bad at the end.
I'm just feeling so hurt right now by many things that happened or I heard. I just want to shout at someone! DAMN IT!
*super frustrated and upset*
我的心真的很痛很痛！为什么我不能遇见更好的呢？
我的心真的很痛很痛！为什么我不能遇见更好的呢？
