Bad day

I'm not feeling well today. Had headache, fever n head been spinning. But hey, who am I kidding? Nobody actually care if I'm sick or just normal. My bf tells me to take care instead of comforting me with his voice. He only say that 'i'm not talking tonight. I hope u understand.'  *heartbroken*

So yeah, I've been feeling sick all night while my bf was out enjoying dinner and badminton with his friends. At the end of the day, all I get is 'I HOPE U UNDERSTAND'

Yes I know he's tired n he needs to be awake early tmr. So am I? Oh he doesn't know that. He knows bout himself. He's tired I'm not? He needs to wake up early, I need to leave home by 7.45? For me, it's the thoughts that count. At least let me know that u care, will ya? Would u jz spare me 5 mins of ur long day?

It's jz another sad and disappointing day. When I needed u d most, all u tell me is I HOPE U UNDERSTAND.

Air Asia Ticket Sales!!!

There's Air Asia flight ticket sales today. I really wish I can go holiday somewhere with my hubby. But i really doubt he has the time for me. So all i can do is.. browsing through Air Asia website, seeing how cheap the tickets are... *Pathetic*

I really wish I can fly here and there with him. But facts of life, we are normal human. So we need to work to feed our stomach. I don't even dare to ask him if he wants to go anywhere for holiday. He will be grumbling say that I am being inconsiderate for asking him to fly somewhere for holiday because he will not have the time and money to splurge.

Oh well, life is not perfect. We need to work hard to achieve a great future together!!!

Love you. XOXO.

稻香

對這個世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢繼續往前走
為什麼人要這麼的脆弱　墮落
請你打開電視看看
多少人為生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我們是不是該知足
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有

還記得你說家是唯一的城堡　隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑　小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑　鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧　回到最初的美好

不要這麼容易就想放棄　就像我說的
追不到的夢想　換個夢不就得了
為自己的人生鮮艷上色　先把愛塗上喜歡的顏色
笑一個吧　功成名就不是目的
讓自己快樂快樂這才叫做意義
童年的紙飛機　現在終於飛回我手裡
所謂的那快樂　赤腳在田裡追蜻蜓追到累了
偷摘水果被蜜蜂給叮到怕了　誰在偷笑呢
我靠著稻草人吹著風唱著歌睡著了
哦　哦　午後吉它在蟲鳴中更清脆
哦　哦　陽光灑在路上就不怕心碎
珍惜一切　就算沒有擁有

還記得你說家是唯一的城堡　隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑　小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑　鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧　回到最初的美好

My thoughts..

I chose to come to Perth to do my masters. I'm not sure if that's the correct choice. But I guess I've started it so I have to finish it so that I don't disappoint my family.

1st, it was disappointing that my course coordinator wasn't helpful. Then, I get to know that I need to study some units that I've done in my undergrad. What's worst is that I thought there will be a whole class of postgraduate students. But that's not the case. I'm currently having class with the 2nd and 3rd year undergrad students. So, I'm the weird 1 there.

2nd, I feel sad and I miss my life back in KL. I had a colourful life. Or should I say, I HAD A LIFE in KL. I worked, I go out with friends, I go for drinks with colleagues, I have family there. And most of all, I have the person I love in my life everyday. I chose to give up everything and start a new in Perth, hoping that I can get a master degree. Then, hopefully I can get a job in Australia and get my PR for a better future.

Now I'm wondering is all these really worth it? Having a better future alone in a stranger land? I used to think that my undergrad degree wasn't good enuf and I always wanted to see what overseas university are teaching. True enough, their standards are way higher. I always wanted to study at overseas uni. Now that I'm doing it, I'm not sure anymore if that's what I want. I've made plans in my life, but I don't know if my plans are worth all the sacrifices.

Yesterday, I had a tiring day. As I was driving home alone, I suddenly thought of the time when I was working in KL. Normally after a tiring and stressful working day, I will be taking the lrt to Kelana Jaya station where Aaron will pick me up. As tiring and stressed out my mind was, once I got into the car, he would smile to me and say 'Hello darling!'. All those will just sweep away my tiredness and I feel totally relief and forgotten about all the stress. Its like at the end of the day, I get to see that smile and hear that voice, everything else doesn't matter anymore. Now that we're far away from each other, I can't have that anymore. I really miss those times.

I'm really thinking, is all these really worth it? I thought of quitting and going back because it seems like everything else doesn't matter as long as you have your loved ones beside you always. But then again, I'm confused. Should I? Can I?

ALL I CAN SAY IS I MISS EVERYTHING I HAD BACK THERE. MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY LOVE AND MY FRIENDS.

PS: I miss you, hubby. I love you always. Wish you're beside me right now hugging me. It's chilli here. I really need your warmth badly.

Late late post for a good friend of mine...

I've lost a good friend of mine on 14th January 2010. A date that I will never forget. I was busy doing spring cleaning as chinese new year is just exactly one month away. I was hanging the curtain in my room. My mum was having my neighbour over for some tea time chat. Suddenly, her phone beep. It's a sms from a neighbour of mine. Saying Sandra's family met with an accident. So my mum shouted and asked me to read the sms. It was a long msg. A msg that shocked me. I read twice to properly understand and absorb what it says. It goes something like that...

"Sandra and her family met with an accident. Jimmy is in coma as well as Sandra. Sandra is in a bad condition. Sandra might not make it. Clara only suffer mild injuries. Sandra couldn't make it. I'm in the car with Soh Fay, I can't tell as her now as doctor wants to tell her personally. Sandra passed away."

It shocked me badly as it seems impossible to understand the phrase 'Sandra passed away'. Sandra is always the friend that is around. The one that always bring laughter to us. The Sandra that do all the funny things. Having her around us is like having joy around us. How can this msg tell me that Sandra passed away? She just celebrated her 21st birthday in November.

I called Camie, and cried saying Sandra passed away. She shouted at me saying don't talk nonsense, call me back when u stop crying. But she called me back instead and asked what am I talking about. She asked Chia Yeow and confirmed that yes, it happened. We were all in shocked. How could this happen to a girl that is so bubbly that just turned 21 not too long ago? But yes, life is short n cruel sometimes. She passed. I was told to inform all her friends. I started sending out smses to people that knows her who are in my contacts. I called and tell Pei Chze about it. She tell me not to joke about this thing. Everyone that I sms reply me saying is this a joke? The whole bunch of guys was playing futsal. Wee Kiat call me when they were on break. I confirmed about it. Then they stopped playing and rush to the hospital.

I couldn't drive alone. So I waited til Jason picked me up to the hospital. When i reached hospital, I saw Camie and hugged her n cry. How could this happen? All the guys were there. All of us didn't know what to do as we can't help with anything. I went to see Clara and she had mild bruises on her forehead whereas Uncle Jimmy was in the operation room.

This is a day that I will never forget. A day that I lost my good friend, Sandra.

I will always love you, Sandra. Have fun up there!